Thursday, 2 August 2012

the second journey



*background music: YUI - Tokyo

this feels nostalgic.
as though i’m having a déjà vu.

today, i’m leaving my town and heading to a completely unfamiliar city for study. Depok, West Java is where i’m going to. the thought sends my memories back to those days of student exchange, but still, somehow i know it won’t be the same. this time, i really stand on my own feet. no host-school. no host-family. no scholarship support (yet; i plan to look for some anyway). no liaison person who’ll help me getting through a trouble—whenever necessary.

deep insides, i hear my heart whisper,
“hey. this is gonna be more difficult than before…”

i know.

but i have things to do.
i need to keep looking forward.

so i pack my things up.

i throw a glance around my room one more time and my chest clenches tightly. after finally getting used to this room (again)… i must go doing another journey. a harsher one. there’s no dreamy imagination like what i had before departing to Japan two years ago—has it been that long? oh yes, it has. the last year of high school i spend at my hometown carved its evidence in the room. i still remember how my textbooks scattered all over the bed with me fallen asleep on an open notebook while holding a pen. i still can see myself do all-nighters on my study desk, fingers dancing on the keyboard and stopping several times to just yawn sleepily or rub my eyes. i still know by heart where i usually put my test results.

oh crap.
suddenly i become so sentimental.
http://www.emocutez.com

walking out of your comfort zone is never pleasant.
it’s sad, lonely, and somewhat scary. it makes you feel blue. i’m enthralled by the thought of starting my life as a college student yet at the same time i’m hoping that time will stop. here. right frigging now. so that i can treasure each moment of being in my comfort zone. in a house where i can see and hug and talk to my family everyday. in a place where i can be at ease.
all the time.

see you later, hometown.
i’ll be back home in about two weeks later—if God allows.
hopefully, the me who will stand on the doorstep of my family’s house is better than the one typing this blog entry.

hello Depok,
prepare yourself.
because i aim to kick your ass hard.

mom—and my silly little sister, of course—i’ll surely miss you two.
dad, i’ll very much miss our daily bickering and arguments and stupid fights.
take care.



have a great day,
z. d. imama

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