Wednesday, 13 March 2013


am i forgetting how to love ?

that question echoes inside my head, as i'm standing with shaky legs; my entire body is trembling. i hear his voice, mumbling something i cannot understand. i see him take a step forward, then two, and three, closing the small distance between me and him.

i want to cry.
my eyes hot with tears.

his skin touches mine.
i can fell the garments slip off my skin; the attack of chilly air makes me shiver. in cold. in fear. in despair. in self-hatred. like i want to rip my skin from this body, shredding it into pieces, destroying it into nothingness.

his breath tickles my ear.
i hold my ground, refusing to fall. 
his hands wander. 
i try not to flinch away.

his arms surround me.
i feel his entrance, down below, breaching the small passage of mine. my small fingers clutch his shoulders. tight. my nails as well leave marks. i want him to feel this pain.

....this sorrow.

my eye flutter shut.
and i see you.
in the darkness behind my lids.

so i cry.
cry and beg and sob and plead.

it's you that i need.
it's you that haunts me.

why can't you be real?


z. d. imama

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